The Proper Warder Attitude
by Blue Dragon
Summary: Post-TGS, pre-Tarmon Gaidon. Gareth finds that Siuan is pregnant and wants her out of Tarmon Gaidon. Siuan disagrees. Gareth goes drastic. Siuan has enough and knows the perfect cure for his attitude... promising much G/S bickering. Part 2 posted.
1. Part 1

**The Proper Warder Attitude**

_Part 1._

It had taken him long enough to figure it out. The changes were small; Siuan, as everyone nowadays, was under a lot of pressure, and a bit of odd behaviour could be attributed to stress, and the approaching Tarmon Gaidon. They still didn't know for certain when that bloody battle would take place, or exactly where, although the Blight was a likely guess, and the wait tore on even Gareth's composure. But as for hints to Siuan's blossoming condition, there was that odd sensitivity to strong odours: ...well, perhaps his socks _did_ smell at the end of a day, but he had never before known her to wrinkle her nose at him when he came back from the stables. And her from the start volatile temper seemed to have been given a boost.

Not that her temper had ever needed a boost.

It was the morning when she scrambled out of bed and was loudly sick that he learned what was going on. He rolled out of the covers, pulled on his breeches, and came to hold her hair for her as she heaved the remains of yesterday's dinner into her washing basin.

When she was done she sagged a bit and he supported her to a chair, helped her sit, kissed her forehead, all while she looked at him suspiciously from the corner of her eye.

"Shall I fetch a Yellow to look at you?" he asked, wondering at that suspicion.

"No, Gareth," she said in dangerously bland tones, still watching him as if she expected him to any moment explode.

He didn't explode. He opened his mouth to speak – then closed it again and thought. Her expression, the feeling of the bond, that out-of-place suspicion on her face… and most telling of all, that way she had placed both hands protectively over her belly.

She wasn't sick. She was pregnant.

Gareth felt as if someone had slapped him across the face with a pillow. It didn't hurt. It just… surprised him. Stunned him. When, after a moment, he managed to speak, all he could say was; "You… might have told me."

"You're not happy," Siuan concluded, and the way she studied him said that she was reading the bond as well as his face.

"I… don't know what to say. I suppose I _ought_ to be happy. It's just… there's so much happening right now." He drew a chair for himself and sat down, facing her. "Light, Siuan. We have Tarmon Gaidon about to fall over our heads any day, and…"

"…_and_?"

The bond, if not the flat voice, told him how close he was to disaster. He reached out to take her hand, spread her fingers, and kissed her palm, then leaned his face into it with a sigh. Siuan said nothing, and although the bond softened a bit, it did not ease entirely. "I love you," Gareth told her. "As soon as all of this is done, I intend to marry you, and I would thank the Light for any child blessed to us."

"But not now?" Siuan concluded coolly. Her chin tilted up and she withdrew her hand.

As she hadn't accepted that gesture of truce, Gareth knew he was _very_ close to disaster. He just wished he could have figured out _why_. "Give me an hour or two to get over the shock," he tried, with a smile. "It's just… I thought you were taking… precautions."

"I was. At first. Then I stopped." Siuan crossed her arms beneath her breasts and glared challenge at him.

"Stopped… _why_?"

"Because I fully intend to marry you, too, when this is all done, Light help me. But I've sense enough to realise that might never happen. I might die at Tarmon Gaidon, in which case the point would be moot, or we might both die, or _you_ might die. And I decided that if there was a chance I could keep something of you, I would."

For the second time that morning, Gareth felt dumbstruck. This was _Siuan_ talking?

"If I've suddenly sprouted scales and gills, Gareth Bryne, you will _tell me _instead of staring at me like a fool."

"A… child," Gareth managed finally. "You want a child? _My child_?"

Siuan sniffed. "Apparently even Aes Sedai end up with fool notions when they fall in love. And I already _have_ one, thank you." She set her hands over her belly again. A belly which as of yet showed nothing at all.

Gareth tried to make sense of this information. He would be a father. Siuan wanted to carry his child – no, she _was already carrying_ his child. He found that he was staring at her, and that whatever came through the bond was making her blush but smile back at him in apparent pleasure. Likely it was _love_. He could feel it himself, as if he was radiating it, as if it made his skin glow and his mind crumble away and hide. She _must_ have felt it too. He reached across the distance between them and touched the silk surface of her nightgown, between the fingers she had spread across her abdomen. She caught his hand and placed his palm flat over it, beneath her own hands.

He couldn't think. All he had in his head was wonder, and affection, and the feeling that despite all, he might actually be able to fly. Or at least soar.

"We need to be married," he managed finally.

"That can be arranged," said Siuan, her cheeks still shaded crimson.

The next few words came out before he had considered them. "And we need to keep you away from Tarmon Gaidon."

Silence. The spell broke. The bond in his head was all that warned him as Siuan… _exploded_. She shoved him and his chair away with the Power, so that it slammed into the bedpost behind him and he was lucky not to have hit his head.

"Keep me_ away_ from Tarmon Gaidon? _No!_"

Disaster had struck, and now he would need to weather it. He cursed his fool tongue for being so blunt on a matter he knew would have required much more delicacy. He –

Tossed his arm up to swipe aside the water pitcher that came hurtling for his face. Thank the Light for Warder reflexes.

Siuan narrowed her eyes dangerously, and all of a sudden ten objects from all corners of the room were flying at him. There was nothing to do but throw his arms over his head and endure the barrage. When it finished he stood so suddenly that he kicked his chair over on his way up, and faced Siuan. "Stop using the bloody Power on me, woman!"

Siuan's face was cool and dignified. She sniffed. "When I throw something at you, Gareth Bryne, it's because I want something to _hit_ you, and I expect you to have the decency to let yourself be bloody hit."

"And hitting me is supposed to make me change my mind?"

"No! It's supposed to make me feel better. I don't need to change your mind. You're my Warder. You'll do as I say."

"Not when what you say makes no bloody _sense_! When it comes to your own safety, Siuan, _nothing you say_ makes any bloody sense –"

"You'll _obey_, Gaidin."

He kicked the chair for good measure. There followed a _thud_ as the chair hit the nightstand, a _crash_ as an empty wine pitcher and two glasses fell to the floor… it had been a fine pitcher, and Gareth almost regretted it. Almost. But the crash did reinforce his point rather nicely. "Burn it, but if it makes no sense, I will _not_!"

Her eyes narrowed. "On your knees," she instructed.

Of course he had no intention of… but then, jerkily, as if something was tugging at his mind, he folded his legs beneath himself and thumped to the floor so gracelessly that it hurt. It was _compulsion_, carried over the bond and sure as sunrise, and not subtly done. Of course, she didn't _mean_ it to be subtle. By the time it had faded he and he could stand again, he could no longer tell which of them was the angrier. Her bond raged in the back of his mind, but he himself was mad enough that he actually quivered. "You've made your point most admirably, my dearest," he told her tonelessly. "What will you have me do next? Stand on one leg and flap my arms like a chicken?"

"Don't tempt me."

Gareth bit back a retort and reined himself in sharply. He reminded himself that he really didn't _want_ to argue with her. If for no other reason, then because he had no idea yet how he might _win_. He moderated his tone. "I don't want to argue with you, Siuan. I don't want you to upset yourself, not –"

"Not _now_, you mean? Not with me in a _delicate_ condition? Delicate _this_!" She snatched a candle stick from the table beside her chair and raised it as if to throw.

Gareth's arms swept up to protect his face, but the candle stick did not come soaring. All that came was Siuan's furious gaze, and one eyebrow arched in expectation.

Gareth sighed, lowered his arms, and let the candle stick hit him square on the jaw. It was what the bloody woman wanted. And her aim was improving, he thought, as he rubbed his sore cheek and checked with his tongue that all his teeth were still in place. He should have known better than to fall in love with a woman who would not be given orders, would not be threatened, or cajoled, or even that easily placated.

There was only one thing to do. He would pay for it later, but he was reasonably certain she would forgive him in… oh, about twenty years. Perhaps ten, if he kept her well supplied with things to throw at him.

"Feel better?" he asked her magnanimously.

"A little," she snapped. She did have the decency to look abashed as he worked his aching jaw.

"Good," he said. "My turn."

He spun about, tore the heavy velvet curtains from the bedposts, and tossed them at her. She gave a little shriek and likely prepared to channel something, but he had heard her say quite clearly that it was difficult to channel at what you couldn't see, and before she could do much more he had bundled her securely into a roll of curtains and dumped her over his shoulders, and was already jogging out of their room.

Only belatedly did he realise that he was still in nothing but breeches, and Siuan of course cursed loud and clear like the Tearen fisherman's daughter she was, and did not have the curtsey to make a very compliant bundle. She didn't channel at him, but she didn't stay still either.

They must have been quite a sight. And made quite a sound. An entire circus, for the entertainment of the entire bloody Blue Ajah.

He clung on and jogged down the corridors, ignoring the gaping expressions of the servants, the amused Warders, and the Aes Sedai, who ranged from mortified to simply curious, from rolling their eyes to disapprovingly turning their backs. Twice he nearly dropped her due to her twisting antics, no matter how securely he tucked the curtains about her, but when he snapped at her to "hold still, woman!" she invariably replied something about how she'd use his liver for fish-bait, if she hadn't thought it would poison the fish.

Which, if nothing else, told him that at least her spirits were up despite being so indignantly bundled.

He shouldered the door to the Amyrlin's antechamber open and came in already demanding an audience, while Siuan vehemently promised to gut him and skin him, slice him up, and feed him to the silverpike. He was quite certain she'd do no such thing. For when it came down to it, he was sure she'd be much more creative. Not necessarily a good thing.

"The Amyrlin has no time for – oh Light!" Attending the Amyrlin's door was an Accepted with dark braids, vaguely familiar. But in the rebel's camp she'd worn only a Novice dress. "Lord – lord Bryne! Is that – is that Siuan Sedai?"

Siuan confirmed the guess by continuing her curses.

"I'll need to see the Amyrlin at once, girl," Bryne said as calmly as he could, while ignoring how Siuan's feet, now loose from the folds of curtain, were trying to kick him in the belly.

The Novice-turned-Accepted had likely not been instructed on what to do in cases like these. With a squeak she spun and fled into the Amyrlin's quarters for instructions. Gareth did his best to wait patiently. Meanwhile, Siuan seemed to be worrying a fold of the curtain in her teeth and snarling vehemently.

"You – you may enter, Lord Bryne," stammered the Accepted when she came back out.

Bryne stalked into the Amyrlin's chamber, shouldered the door shut behind him, and dumped the bundle of Siuan onto the floor.

Egwene, the Amyrlin Seat, Watcher of the Seals, Flame of Tar Valon, sat behind a desk full of work, and raised one cool eyebrow in question at her visitors.

"We've had a disagreement I was hoping you might settle for us, Mother," Bryne said by way of introduction, and bowed as best he knew how.

Siuan scrambled out of the tangled curtains, looking about her, and near _flinched_ when she caught sight of Egwene. "Mother," she said, bowing her head. "I'm sorry about this, Mother. But my Warder just –"

"Your Warder, daughter," Egwene said serenely and thus silenced her, "is out of hand. Perhaps I should have you hand him over to some Green who better knows how to deal with a man of his calibre."

Gareth froze.

Siuan grew white-faced. "M-mother!" she stammered. "Gareth is – he's – I mean – you _know_..!"

"Yes, daughter." Egwene's voice was cold. "I _know_. What I don't know, however, is how come your domestic issues end up on my doorstep when _you_ both _know_ that I have work to do. If you can't keep that Warder of yours reined in, you _should_ hand him over."

"Mother," Gareth broke in, "Siuan's pregnant."

Siuan gave him a withering look. "A Gaidin will not address the Amyrlin Seat until he's been given leave to speak."

"Burn that," Gareth snapped at her. "Siuan's pregnant," he told Egwene, "and I don't want her near Tarmon Gaidon. Can you spare her?"

Egwene ignored him, keeping her eyes on Siuan. "You should be grateful Silviana isn't here. She Silviana would have insisted on a penance. A trip to the Mistress of Novices for a sound strapping at the least."

"Yes, Mother," Siuan acknowledged, her voice and her bowed head the picture of compliance, but in the back of Gareth's mind the bond was still a knot of living fury.

Himself, Gareth felt his fists want to curl. He kept his hands open with an effort of will, and kept silent. He suspected that if he spoke again, he would again be ignored. If he entered Egwene's presence as Lord Bryne, the general, she would speak quite openly to him. But right now he was only Gareth Gaidin, the insubordinate Warder to Siuan Sedai, acknowledged about as much as a pin Siuan might wear on her dress. All he had accomplished by this was Siuan's anger and Egwene's… indifference. And possibly a bloody penance for Siuan, for failing to keep him in line.

Burn him if he would stand for it. No one was going to set a strap to Siuan's hide while he lived to stop it. Especially not for something _he_ had done.

He ignored the little voice wondering wryly how he intended to stop it.

Gareth assumed a waiting pose, hands clapped behind his back, and eyes stoically forward. If they intended to ignore him, there wasn't much he could do about it. Jumping up and down and waving his arms was not only beneath his dignity, but also, it would either end with him bound up in Air or… by him jumping up and down and waving his arms and being studiously further ignored.

Aes Sedai, he had discovered, shared a positive talent for ignoring things.

"Myself," Egwene said, "I believe that the humiliation of being carried here like a sack of potatoes is punishment enough for you, daughter."

"Yes, Mother."

"Now. The Gaidin wished to address me?"

Siuan hesitated. The look she gave Gareth over her shoulder could have made a stone shatter. "Yes, Mother."

"With your permission, then, Siuan; the Gaidin may speak," Egwene said formally.

Siuan waved an unhappy hand at Gareht, who swallowed his pride and bowed first to her, and then, deeper, to Egwene. "Honour to serve, Mother," he said, matching the Amyrlin's formality. "For what may yet come, I stand ready."

Egwene's eyebrow arched coolly upward. "So you have learned some manners, Gaidin. Very good."

"Yes, Mother," Gareth said. "Siuan Sedai… is pregnant. I would beg the favour that you keep her away from Tarmon Gaidon."

Siuan sniffed, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Whatever for?" asked Egwene.

Gareth frowned. "Because she's –"

"I heard you the first time, Gaidin. What of it? Is she ill, too?"

"No more than could be expected, Mother," Siuan trilled, smiling broadly now.

"Then you have my congratulations, daughter."

"Thank you, Mother," Siuan practically _beamed_, and the look she gave Gareth this time was triumphant. The bond still bubbled with fury.

Gareth frowned. "You can't mean, Mother, that you'll let her off to battle –"

Egwene _looked_ at him, and he found his words trailing off. It was very difficult to remember, when she used that look, that she was less than half his age. He gathered himself with some effort. "Mother, a woman in Siuan's condition, even an Aes Sedai, has no place in a battle."

Siuan ran out of patience. "If that's all you intend to nag about, then be _silent_, Gareth Bryne!" she snapped. "My _condition_ is none of your bloody business!"

"Oh, isn't it?" Egwene said with one eyebrow coolly raised, this time in amusement. "Then tell us, Siuan. _Whose_ 'bloody business' is it?"

Siuan's face reddened.

Egwene shook her head. "Request denied, Gaidin."

"But –"

Egwene _looked_. Gareth snapped his mouth closed. To get himself of the Amyrlin's bad side was no way to start a day.

"Three reasons," Egwene continued, speaking patiently, as if explaining something to an errant youth. Or an errant Gaidin. Gareth wasn't surprised to realise the difference was slight: Aes Sedai saw everyone aside from themselves as children. "Firstly, you belong to Siuan Sedai, and whatever is given you must come through her hands. I am not entitled to grant you gifts or favours unless she expressedly approves them."

Gareth bowed his head. He'd heard of that one. He should have expected it.

"Secondly," Egwene went on, "no, I can't _spare_ Siuan. I can't spare anyone, and if I did spare one, don't you think I'd have ten others here in a moment asking the same thing? And thirdly, this isn't just a battle. This is Tarmon Gaidon. Do you honestly believe she might be safe just because she doesn't take active part? Everyone is at risk, Gaidin. _Everyone_, everywhere."

"I understand, Mother," Gareth said with as much grace as he could summon.

"Do you think yourself the only Gaidin worried for his Aes Sedai?" Egwene went on, "I wouldn't have thought you that arrogant. Every bonded Warder is on his toes with worry. You just happen to the only one with the gall to bundle your Aes Sedai into a curtain and override her will. The rest of them know better."

"Then they're all fools, Mother," Gareth opined quietly.

"Are they really?"

Gareth considered it, and couldn't make himself reiterate the point. He'd actually never known a Gaidin he might in all honesty name a fool. There were worse and better men among Warders, too, but… no _fools_.

"Siuan, daughter," Egwene said, turning to Siuan. "I shall require your Warder in my presence this evening, to oversee a matter of supplies. Can you spare him?"

"Naturally, Mother," Siuan agreed graciously.

"Apparently the rot has gotten into the armouries, and our weaponry has begun to rust something dreadful. Would you be so kind to summon Penwynna of the Brown, and Julihe of the Red to me as well? And pass word to Assare of the Green, too."

"I'll find them at once, Mother," Siuan promised.

Gareth eyed her, and gave a warning little cough.

Siuan reddened. "As – as soon as I have returned to my chambers and been properly dressed, Mother," she amended.

"That is well, daughter. You may withdraw."

Siuan curtsied, Gareth bowed, and they withdrew.

As soon as the door was closed behind them Siuan turned to Gareth, with murder in her eyes. "If you weren't my bonded Warder, Gareth Bryne," she told him, "I'd have your hide torn off in strips so fine you could weave a net of them. But since you _are_, I have something much more satisfactory in mind. You may thank the Amyrlin and her talk of _Greens_ for it. _Come_."

She swept the curtain about herself as if it had been a gown and strode with perfect dignity out of the antechamber. Gareth followed at her heels. Well, he had known he would pay for it later. He had counted it well worth the price… but of course, he had expected his ploy to _work_.

They returned to their chambers. Siuan washed and dressed, wrinkled her nose at her breakfast and felt slightly nauseated. When he prodded her to eat she turned to him with an air that made him wonder if he should be grateful that she didn't slap him.

She made him dress in the most gaudy coat he owned – something she had had sewn for him for just such an occasion, he suspected, as he couldn't remember seeing the garment before – and then had him prowl along while she went dutifully to bow and scrape before Penwynna of the Brown, and Julihe of the Red, and finally Assare of the Green, conveying the Amyrlin's wish to see them at once.

Once Assare of the Green was off down the corridor at what for her appeared a stately, cool pace, but which left her three Warders jogging to keep up, Siuan turned to Gareth, her eyes narrowed in that way he knew meant trouble.

"Once this is all done, Gareth Bryne, and we've retired to Kore Springs, I assume things will be different between us," she said, all too amiably; he took a step back, almost reaching for his sword. She smiled. "But for the moment, you are _Gaidin_, and it is high time you begin acting like one. Fortunately, a certain Green sister has recently returned to the Tower, and I imagine if she can't help me set you straight, there's no hope for you."

Gareth felt wary. Siuan waved a hand. "Don't worry. I won't hand your bond over to anyone… _as long as you play along_."

She knocked on a door.

"Come in, Siuan," replied a voice from inside.

They entered. Seated on a high-back chair and working on some knitting, with a kettle of tea beside her, was a pinch-faced old Aes Sedai with iron eyes and gold trinkets stuck about her neatly pinned grey hair.

Siuan curtsied near as deeply as she had for Egwene. "Cadsuane Sedai," she said, and although her voice was humble, Gareth felt triumph already brewing in the bond. "Do you have the time for a favour?"

Cadsuane, over the _click click click_ of her knitting needles, and looked first at Siuan, then at Gareth. The look made Gareth feel like a ten-year-old who'd torn the knees of his breeches. _Again_. He assumed a waiting stance, made himself not fidget, and tried to figure his chances for making it out the door in one piece. Considering the bond… he wouldn't get very far. And he wasn't very keen on leaving Siuan alone with this woman.

It was the bond that made him nervous, more than this Cadsuane Sedai. The bond was gleefully malicious. Apparently Siuan knew this Cadsuane well enough to expect… well, _great things _from her.

Himself, he had never heard of her. He could tell from seeing her that she wasn't a woman to be trifled with, but…

Cadsuane laid her knitting down. "Well enough, girl," she said briskly. "I was about to send for you anyway. I have questions for you, and if it'll loosen your tongue I'm sure I could grant you some small favour in return. You always were pigheaded, and I really don't have the time to pry things out of you word for word."

At once Siuan's bond was wary, too… but then she sighed, the wariness melting into acceptance, and with a last, nasty look at Gareth over her shoulder she curtsied again to Cadsuane. "I'll be happy to answer your questions in exchange, Cadsuane."

"Excellent. Would you care for some tea?"

"Yes, thank you, Cadsuane," Siuan said, and when Cadsuane gestured she popped over to the table to pour tea for them both.

"Now, what seems to be the problem?" Cadsuane picked up her knitting again.

"I'm having some trouble with my Warder."

"Gareth Bryne." Cadsuane sniffed. "If you bond a man like Gareth Bryne, child, of course you're going to have some trouble."

Siuan's temper flared, but she swallowed it. "Do you have any advice to give me, Cadsuane?"

"Why of course, Siuan," Cadsuane murmured. "Leave him where he is, for now. Pour the tea, half a cup, thank you, girl. Now sit." Siuan seated herself with all grace in front of Cadsuane. Cadsuane laid the knitting aside, reached for her cup, and drew a careful sip. "Tell me, child. What sort of trouble has the lad caused you?"

The question was for Siuan, but Cadsuane looked at Gareth as she spoke. Gareth stiffened, and knew at once that this was going to be… painful.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Just a scribble I did during some free time. Hope it amused. Second part will be forthcoming...


	2. Part 2

**The Proper Warder Attitude**

_Part 2._

Cadsuane's primary feature, Gareth soon deduced, was _relentlessness_. She received Siuan's explanations of her Warder troubles with all air of grace, and assured Siuan that she would see to them. Then she began her interrogation. She began with the fall of the Tower, worked her way backwards as if to thread the events leading up to it onto a series of strings. She sorted through Siuan's overthrow with an attention to detail that almost approached cruelty. Siuan sat white-faced and spoke coolly of things which made Gareth want to roar and start beheading people. That, or break down and weep. He abandoned his post near the door and went to stand by Siuan's chair, placing a hand on her shoulder. Neither of the two Aes Sedai paid his movement any mind, but Siuan did reach up and twine her fingers into his. The waver in the bond steadied.

He had heard of what had befallen her, but never in such detail, and now he wondered at her strength. How had she survived? To be captured, confined, and tortured by people you had known and worked with your entire life, even if you hadn't always liked or trusted all of them… then the gruelling journey, Powerless, which had led her to Kore Springs, and to him. He smiled on the inside when he heard it, and Siuan's bond gave a little twitch as if it had just managed to shrug aside some of the hurt. Then came the first meeting with the Salidar Aes Sedai, the return of _saidar_… and the realisation of how far she had fallen in standing. In less detail she told of the army, the new Amyrlin, the march to Tar Valon. Here, Cadsuane seemed to have learned most already from other sources, and only wanted Siuan to fill in a few holes.

So the horrible woman returned to her questions on Siuan's capture, torture, and Stilling. Why, what had they asked her, what had she told them? Cadsuane seemed like a miner hacking away at a stone to find the nugget of gold inside, heedless of the pebbles and shards she sent flying in all directions as she struck, and struck again.

When Siuan's voice broke, Gareth heard himself bark "Enough!" as if he'd been addressing his own soldiers.

Siuan coloured. Cadsuane gave Gareth a blunt look, then without a word to him resumed her questions. He was being _ignored_ again. And this woman was even better at it than the Amyrlin. That look of hers had actually _told_ him that he would be ignored, and he was expected to put up with it.

He squeezed Siuan's shoulder, and she held his hand in both her own, while the questions continued. Merciless. Relentless.

"That will be all, Siuan," Cadsuane clipped finally. "You may run along. Leave your Warder with me, and I shall set him straight for you."

"Yes, Cadsuane Sedai," Siuan said in a very small voice. She stood, curtsied to Cadsuane, and headed for the door.

Gareth took a hovering step after her. She hid it well, but he could _feel_ how near she was to trembling, how close she was to tears, and _Light_, he wanted nothing more than to fold her in his arms and tell her everything was alright, and he wouldn't let them hurt her again.

He couldn't believe he hadn't known. He hadn't known the depth of it.

But Siuan set a palm to his chest. "Stay with Cadsuane until she gives you leave to go, Gareth. And don't forget that the Amyrlin has requested you to attend her this afternoon."

Gareth briefly considered a reply along the lines of "to Shayol Ghul with Cadsuane and the bloody Amyrlin both". Siuan needed him, and –

"Please," she added lowly.

He hesitated. Of a sudden, it would have been impossible to take her in his arms. She had such immense reserves of inner strength, abolishing the need for any outer reassurance, and she was doing her upmost to mobilize it all. She drew it by _need_ and _force of will_. If he came now to offer her support, if he sheltered her and soothed her, her _need_ would fade, her force of will would falter, and the mobilisation would fail. She would be reduced to a frightened woman weeping in his arms. And she didn't want that. Not now.

Not _now_.

He bowed to her and remained where he was as she left, and tried to ignore how every fibre of him yearned to go with her. Perhaps she had enough inner strength to carry herself through the tragedy befallen her, but _he_ lacked enough to watch her struggle with even the memories of it. He stayed, and he suspected that had he tried to go after her, he would have staggered like a drunk.

Behind him, the _click click click_ of Cadsuane's knitting had begun again. "You children," she murmured, fondly amused.

Gareth faced her coldly, with his hand openly resting on the hilt of his sword.

"No, Gaidin, there's no need for _that_. Teaching you _manners_ will be easier, I should think, than either you or Siuan could believe."

"Burn that. Do you have any idea what you just did to her?"

"Oh, yes," Cadsuane assured him dryly. "But I also know that Siuan is strong enough to recover from it in short order. Besides. Now she is in the most excellent disposition for forgiving you your transgressions."

"_Burn_ my transgressions –"

Cadsuane tsked and shook her head. Her voice grew steely. "You will listen to me, Gareth Bryne, if you wish to unravel the tangle you've made of things."

"_Listen_ to you? After what you did to Siuan?"

"Yes, _listen_," she reiterated calmly. "Now if you intend to behave like a tedious child and rave at me, do it now, so I might correct you and we can move on. As things stand, you are still staying in this room until I am done with you."

Gareth knew a good point when he heard it. He drew his posture straight, took his hand from his sword, and tried his best not to glare.

"Much better." With her knitting laid to rest over her lap, Cadsuane sipped her tea. "Now. You have just heard how far Siuan has fallen in the world, and from your burst of temper I believe you even understood how badly it hurt her. Women like her never handle falls in status very well. Am I right?"

"…yes, Cadsuane Sedai."

"Delightful. Tell me, Gareth. How do you suppose we Aes Sedai view a sister who can't control her Warder?"

Gareth stiffened.

"Would we entrust her with anything important? Hold her at all in high esteem? Or would she fall even further?"

Gareth found no answer to give her.

"The obvious answer is _no_," Cadsuane supplied. "Just as we disparage sisters who lose control of their own facial expressions, we look down upon a sister who can't keep her Warder in line. We Aes Sedai see Warders much like an extension of the self, and when that extension misconducts itself it reflects badly upon the sister in question."

Gareth folded his hands behind his back and hid his sudden uncertainty in a waiting stance. Just as with the Amyrlin earlier, this was also not at all what he had expected.

"Now as for Siuan, I suppose there isn't much further for her to sink in standing, but with you there to dig pits beneath her there's no telling how deep she might go." Cadsuane's crisp tones were factual, not accusatory at all, but the look she gave him over the rim of her cup left no room for doubt. "What the two of you do when you're alone, I'll say nothing of, and it doesn't matter. Light knows there are Greens with the _oddest_ habits, but despite the gossip no one ever takes them to task on it. But what you bring into the public eye, lad, will always reflect upon Siuan. Should you make a mistake, the flaw will be seen as Siuan's. Should you insult someone, the penance will be allotted to _Siuan_."

Gareth gritted his teeth.

Cadsuane smiled at him. It was a smile a cat might aim at a mouse it was playing with. "Trust me, Gaidin. I've seen more pig-headed bonded men than even you reduced to tears and become humble and proper Warders after their Aes Sedai has received enough Mortification of the Flesh. I am certain, if it grows necessary, that Silviana will be more than willing to –"

"_No_," rasped Gareth.

"I thought not," Cadsuane said pleasantly. "Your behaviour so far has been little short of _humiliating_ for Siuan. Was it ever your intention to humiliate her?"

Gareth frowned. "Of course not, Aes Sedai."

"Then I would advice you, in the future, _not to repeat it_. Look at the other Gaidin. See how they act toward their Aes Sedai, and do likewise. You were never a stupid man, Gareth Bryne. I'm sure you'll prove a quick study."

"But…"

"_But_..?" Cadsuane echoed in dangerous tones.

Despite himself he felt his voice shrinking, like that of a child making excuses and knowing they would not be accepted. "I can't just do what she says when she insists on putting herself in peril."

"Then here comes my second piece of advice, Gareth Bryne, and one I would have thought familiar to a man who has dealt with Queen Morgase. Siuan, as you are no doubt aware, doesn't turn down a challenge. If a bull charges her, she'll try to _argue_ with it. If, however, she is faced with sound advice, from a source she trusts, mostly she'll give it due consideration. I suspect the two of you have been banging your foreheads together like mountain goats and both ended up battered and angry. But moderate your tone and offer your objection to her ears alone, as a good Warder should. She'll listen. She might not always agree, but at least you'll save precious time and energy and more than a little pain." Cadsuane took a final sip of her tea before setting the cup down. "I'm quite certain, too, that if you stopped by the Yellow quarters on your way back you might find someone to Heal that for you."

Gareth touched his swollen jaw, where the candle stick had struck. It had swelled up nicely but the pain had receded to a dull ache, and he had almost forgotten it. "Maybe I might at that, Cadsuane Sedai," he agreed.

"Now as for setting today's debacle right," Cadsuane continued, "there's nothing for it but to offer your apology and explain yourself."

"Apologize..?" Gareth repeated sceptically. He had tried to apologize to Siuan before; it never did much good.

"Yes. Parade up to Siuan, in a _public_ place, and apologize in as humble a manner as you can manage. Humiliate yourself like she was humiliated. Explain your behaviour."

Apologizing was one thing, but he had actually never tried to publically_ humiliate _himself for Siuan before. Perhaps there was a difference. "Explain it _how_?"

"I've always found that a grain of truth twirled just so about your finger will do the trick nicely. You feared for her safety and thought the Amyrlin might dissuade her. You acted in haste and hope she might find it in her heart to forgive you. Honestly, lad. Don't they _teach_ this to young boys anymore?"

Young _boys_? It was her tone more than her words which riled him, but Gareth settled himself with a good, deep breath. It would be better not to agitate this woman. Sort of like it would be better not to venture into a bear's cave and start poking it with a stick. "I understand, Cadsuane Sedai."

"Good. And I hope that in the future, you will refrain from humiliating her further?"

"I'll watch my step, Cadsuane Sedai."

"And watch your tongue, too, I hope. Very well. My work is done, and simple enough it was. Go see her at once. Before her mood steadies... and _before_ the Yellows Heal that charming bruise from your face. Faced with that reminder of her own temper, while she's still disquiet, I suspect she will be more amendable to apologies."

Gareth bowed to her. He suspected that she was right.

"One last thing, Gareth Bryne," Cadsuane added, raising a forefinger. "From what I have heard of the Amyrlin's temper, these days, something is troubling her. And from what I've heard of rumours, that something is a young lad of your acquaintance."

"Gawyn Trakand, Aes Sedai," supplied Gareth disapprovingly.

"Yes, that's the one."

"He's spent the last couple of months beating up Warders down in the practice yard, when he hasn't trailed after the Amyrlin like a sulky three-year-old. I believe… I believe they've spoken a couple of times. Shouted at one another, actually. But by now the Amyrlin refuses to see him, and he refuses to leave."

Cadsuane tsked and muttered something about children and having to do _everything_ herself. "You might want to give him a few pointers along these same lines. We need the Amyrlin focused on Tarmon Gaidon, not fretting over a pretty face and flexing biceps. You may leave."

Gareth bowed to her a second time and left the room.

...

"Tell me, where is your Warder?" Lelaine said finally, thus finishing the endless stream of implied instructions she had been badgering Siuan with for the past twenty minutes, since catching her trying to sneak unnoticed back into her rooms. "I don't think I've seen you without him since you bonded him."

"I thought it time he was taught a proper attitude," Siuan replied, as coolly as she could. Inside, she wanted to flush as scarlet as a red-herring in spring. That the bloody man had _actually_..! "I've… left him with Cadsuane."

Lelaine blinked. Most satisfying, Siuan thought. "With – with _Cadsuane_?"

"I asked Cadsuane to assist me."

"You asked _Cadsuane_?" Lelaine murmured, rather faintly.

Siuan almost smiled. Almost. She knew better; instead, she lowered her gaze, and said; "There's no use mending half a net and leaving the other half tattered. If you're going to put a man to rights, you do it properly the first time. I thought Cadsuane would prove… adequate to the task."

"That she might indeed," Lelaine agreed, eyeing Siuan as if she was retaking the measure of her. Both, Siuan suspected, because she had proven herself brave enough to approach the legendary Green, and because she had showed herself hard enough to… leave her own Warder in Cadsuane's grip like a dimfish in a silverpike's maw.

Oh, _Light_, but it _had to_ be done, hadn't it? Gareth bloody Bryne had thrown down the tresses and mutinied one time too many. And Gareth _bloody_ Bryne was too tough an old dimfish to break his neck just because Cadsuane shook him… wasn't he? She felt the bond, and settled when she realised that Gareth was still in prime health, and… and coming towards her. _Already_?

"Cadsuane will likely make short work of it," Lelaine went on, refinding her brisk balance.

_She already has_. Siuan nodded, while secretly wondering how much Cadsuane could have accomplished this quickly… if she had performed a _miracle_… well, the entire Blue quarter would learn of it. She and Lelaine were speaking quite openly in the middle of a corridor, after all. But if Cadsuane found herself neck-deep in sisters wanting help with their Warder troubles after a 'miracle cure' for Gareth Bryne, then it served the horrid old saw-tooth _right_.

Siuan lost much of what Lelaine was saying to her. She turned her attention to the knot of other in the back of her mind; Gareth was approaching. He was… angry. But more than that, he was troubled. Troubled as in… oddly subdued, brooding, as if his mind was on a campaign he was losing but still wanted to win. She didn't know what to make of it. Gareth was still new enough to her that she sometimes wondered at his moods.

Her eyes were aimed down the corridor before he even came around the corner. Half his face bore the mark after her anger and that candlestick... why hadn't she _Healed_ that for him? It stung, even if he supressed it. She felt a twinge of guilt. At least _she_ had come out of the morning without physical bruises. On top of that, blaring like a second bruise all in itself, he wore that awful coat. Whatever had made her buy him that coat, she didn't know, it was simply _dreadful_. She must have been in some mood even then; she wanted to blush with embarrassment at seeing her own Warder in it, as if he'd been dressed up by some garish, fashion-inventive Yellow.

She still couldn't make out his mood, and his hard-angled face gave her no clues. She steeled herself, half expecting him to come up with some new way of embarrassing her. She was half aware of how Lelaine quieted, perhaps interested to see what the general would be up to now. Others nearby had paused to observe. Siuan wanted to lash out at them all, tell them to go away and leave her be, but she couldn't do that.

Gareth strode straight up to her, his eyes so very intense, and for a moment she had the ridiculous fear – ridiculous, of course! – that he would _strike_ her. She felt herself go rigid, reaching for but not yet touching _saidar_. Instead he surprised her.

Half a step in front of her, his stony countenance vanished and he fell to his knees, bowed so deep she could see only the top of his head and his back, and took a light hold of the hem of her dress.

Siuan felt her jaw drop. Gareth spoke, and she could never thereafter quite remember what he had said, but it was clearly an apology. Something to do with fearing for her safety and wanting her best and panicking – _panicking_! Gareth Bryne! – and thinking the Amyrlin might talk her out of it. All of which she could have figured on her own, but she hadn't heard it phrased like that. Not heard it from a stiff-necked man reduced to making excuses on his knees.

When he finished, he didn't even raise his head; he just sat there, awaiting her response.

Siuan suddenly realised she'd been holding her breath. She drew air and felt herself blush – everyone was looking, and Lelaine burn her was _staring_, the bloody woman! – and tugged at Gareth's shoulders. "Light's sake, man, _get up_!"

He stood. Slowly, then watched her, quite impassively. The swollen side of his face made him seem a man beaten, even if his stance said nothing of the kind.

"Th-thank you Gareth," she murmured, stopping herself from setting a hand over that bruise and Healing it on the spot. "Return to my quarters and wait."

Gareth Bryne bowed, this time no more than the curt bow Warders ever offered their sisters, and swept off down the corridor towards her rooms.

"Well," Siuan heard herself say. "Apparently Cadsuane knows what to do." Everyone was still looking at her. Burn them! Couldn't they leave her _alone_? She ignored them all, and turned back to Lelaine with as servile a manner as she could summon. "Lelaine, I… I believe you were giving me instructions? I fear I missed the last of it."

"Ah… yes…" Lelaine murmured, with a blink of her eyes. "Never mind that now, dear. Light, I never thought I would see Gareth Bryne…"

"I have… once before," Siuan murmured, doing her best not to let her face grow crimson again. Light, what was the matter with her these days? She seemed to blush or throw a tantrum at Gareth or burst into tears at the _slightest_. She certainly hoped it wasn't the pregnancy, for in that case, it would likely only grow _worse_. "I… was Amyrlin then." And she'd felt as if she had the _right_ to make him kneel. Now it only made her feel uncomfortable.

Lelaine nodded slowly, her eyes off in the direction Gareth had gone. Her voice was oddly faint. "I think… you had better see to your Warder. Make sure he's… _unharmed_."

Siuan murmured something like an excuse and did as she was told. When she entered her room, Gareth stood in the middle of it, still as a statue and watching her. Of course, he had known she was coming. His face was still unreadable and his bond… she couldn't make any sense of it, a mingle of anger and fear and hope and that calculating impassivity of a general unwilling to admit defeat. It could have meant any of a thousand things in any of a thousand men, but this was her own bloody _Warder_! She knew she would be able to read his moods with time, but it still irked her that she couldn't do it now.

But something in that bond tugged at her heart and before she knew it she had thrown her arms about him and hugged him, then kissed him, and held his face between her hands as she spoke, weaving Healing without thought to remove the ugly mark of her anger. "Oh, Gareth, what did that _awful_ woman do to you?"

Gareth blinked. "Cadsuane… Sedai? I… yes. It was quite awful." Slowly he folded his arms around her waist; slowly as if trying not to startle her. "Are you… well?"

"Am _I_ well?"

"Last I saw you you were rather… upset."

Siuan had almost forgotten about that. Between Lelaine snatching her up for conversation and instruction in the hallway, and Gareth coming back so very soon, she had almost forgotten… "Never mind that," she snapped, and shook her head fiercely. She did _not_ want to think about that again. Not twice in one day. "Are _you_ well?"

Gareth's bond seemed to warm, and melt, like butter left out in the sun. His eyes grew tender. "Do you forgive me?"

Siuan felt he cheeks heat again. Burn her! Her emotions were in complete upheaval today. There were tears in her eyes, too, and she hastily blinked, then dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her sleeve. "I…" she didn't know what to tell him. How could she forgive him for… that morning… for treating her like _that_? For humiliating her like that?

Then again, how could she _not_, with that bond warm in the back of her mind and those usually so hard eyes softened to such care, such pleading tenderness. He _did_ love her, and therefore he had acted as he had done that morning, madness though it seemed. He did love her, and therefore he had appeared before her and fallen to his knees. Not, this time, because she was Amyrlin and her authority forced him to submit; but because he was a man and he loved her.

"I forgive you," she whispered, and by the First Oath it had to be true. She hugged him close, buried her face against his shoulder, knotted her fingers tight into the fabric of that awful coat. In the evening she would burn the garment to cinders, but right then she couldn't imagine letting go of it, and thereby letting go of _him_. "I… I love you, Gareth. Of course I forgive you. I… I don't even want to _throw_ anything at you. Are you sure you're well?"

"My dearest, sweetest, beloved Siuan," he whispered in her ear, holding her close and beginning to rock her from side to side as if she'd been a child in need of comfort, "if that's the case… then I am well."

* * *

_Author's Note (version 2):_

There, post-posting editing done. Despite proof-reading, I always find new mistakes _after_ I post...


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